We’ll be exploring bisexuality in the swinger community. What it’s about, what types of bisexuality you will see in the swinger lifestyle, and how to explore your own bisexuality.
You will quickly discover that female bisexuality in the swinger lifestyle is a lot more accepted than male bisexuality. Luckily, as time has passed, male bisexuality is becoming a little more accepted in the swinger community.
Let’s start off by exploring why bisexuality in the swinger lifestyle is on the rise.
The Rise of Bisexuality in the Swinger Lifestyle
Bisexuality, both female and male, is on the rise in the swinger lifestyle. In fact, it’s been on the rise for some time now. If you have been going to swinger clubs, browsing online swinger profiles, or just going to private swinger parties for several years, you have seen this rise in the number of bisexual swingers firsthand. The question is, why is bisexuality in the swinger lifestyle on the rise? Let’s look at some of the reasons both female and male bisexual swingers have been steadily increasing in number.
Overall Increase in Acceptance and Visibility of Bisexuality
Over the years bisexuality has been growing steadily in acceptance in our society. This of course also shows in the increase in acceptance of bisexuals in the swinger lifestyle as well. This in turn has increased the visibility of bisexuals in both the general population and the swinger community.
Attitudes in the Swinger Community Have Evolved Over the Years
The swinger community in general has been much more accepting of female bisexuality while being a lot less accepting of male bisexuality. However, attitudes have been changing in the swinger community. Especially over the last several years.
Women are exploring bisexuality and feeling a lot more comfortable exploring same-sex sexual experiences because of the increased encouragement and growing desirability of bisexual females in the swinger lifestyle.
Male bisexuality on the other hand is growing at a lot slower rate than female bisexuality in the swinger community. This is because male same-sex sexual experiences have been so extremely stigmatized in general society. But the swinger community is slowly becoming accepting of male bisexuality. This is especially true with younger swingers. Society has labeled male bisexuality as something bad and many, but not all, older swingers are holding on tight to what society has pounded into their belief system. It truly is a shame how much control and manipulation society has over some of us, even to this date.
The Swinger Lifestyle Has Opened More Opportunities for Bisexual Exploration
The swinger lifestyle has opened the doors for individuals to actually explore their own sexuality in a sex-positive environment. The swinger lifestyle has encouraged female bisexuality for a long time and is slowly starting to encourage male bisexuality. Though it is still at a very slow pace.
Swinger clubs, swinger parties, and swinger events create numerous opportunities for same-sex sexual encounters that may not be available to bisexual individuals in everyday life.
Swinger Community Changing Demographics
As younger generations slowly replace older generations in the swinger community, they bring with them their concepts about sexuality. Younger generations are more likely to accept and embrace nontraditional sexual roles. This includes the greater acceptance of bisexuality in both females and males. Basically, the demographics of the swinger community are changing and evolving.
Now that you have an idea why bisexuality in the swinger community is increasing, let’s explore the different types and degrees of bisexuality you will possibly encounter while exploring the swinger lifestyle.
The Types and Degrees of Bisexuality You Will Encounter in the Swinger Lifestyle
While exploring the swinger lifestyle, visiting swinger clubs, and swinger parties, you will encounter many types and degrees of bisexuality. Here are the most prevalent forms and degrees of both female and male bisexuality you will most likely encounter. All definitions are as they pertain to the swinger lifestyle in general.
Bisexual – A bisexual person is someone that is sexually attracted to both males and females. This does not mean equal attraction though. Some bisexuals are attracted to the same sex more than the opposite sex, and vice versa. Bisexuals can have varying degrees of attraction to the same sex and the opposite sex. These degrees of attraction can also vary over time.
Bi-Curious – You will find that the designation bi-curious is actually used wrongly a lot of the time in the swinger lifestyle. A bi-curious person is someone that has an interest in same sex play but does not have any experiences. Once they have an actual bisexual experience, they are no longer bi-curious. They may still be confused if they want to continue being bisexual or make it a one and done sexual experience. So be careful when hearing or reading that someone is bi-curious. Ask them to explain exactly what they mean by labeling someone bi-curious.
Raging Bisexual – You will hear the term raging bisexual or raging bi from time to time. This simply means that the woman or man is extremely bisexual. Sometimes to the point of preferring same sex over opposite sex encounters. A couple or single person that claims to be a raging bisexual will rarely play with a couple when both of them are straight or the person of the same sex as them is straight.
Bi-Comfortable – Bi-comfortable simply means that the person is comfortable around bisexual people of the same sex. But is not interested in same sex sexual encounters. They usually don’t have a problem with non-sexual body parts touching when having group play or threesomes as long as the intent is not meant to be bisexual in nature. It’s usually best for the bisexual and the bi-comfortable person to discuss what is and is not acceptable during close encounters while playing in a group or in a threesome.
Situational Bisexual – A situational bisexual can be bisexual during certain situations and straight during other situations. For example, an all-girl party night turns into a group sex night. Or, two people are on camera and decide to put on a bisexual show for the viewers. Another example would be when someone drinks a little too much and another person dares them to have a same sex sexual encounter.
In the Moment Bisexual – Do you remember the old saying, “If it feels good, do it?” This would describe an in the moment bisexual. The person may just act on a sudden bisexual urge or sudden desire. This type of bisexual does not always respond to the same stimuli that brought on a same sex encounter in the past.
Heteroflexible Bisexual – Heteroflexible individuals are primarily sexually attracted to the opposite sex and usually consider themselves more straight than bisexual. But on occasion they may experience attraction, curiosity or openness to same sex sexual experiences. They may desire having a sexual experience with someone of the same sex and then later they are not. Heteroflexibility can surface or manifest differently for each individual and can range from simple fantasies and curiosity to actual physical sexual encounters with someone of the same sex.
Heteroflexible bisexuals are well suited for MFM and FMF threesomes because they do not have any problems with same sex contact while both pleasing a third person of the opposite sex. Think DP, fucklicked, double oral blowjobs, etc. On occasion the MFM threesome can become a MMF threesome, and a FMF threesome can become a FFM threesome.
One and Done Bisexual – Remember the good old college days, living in a dorm, or on your own for the first time? Remember all the experimentation you did? Well, the one and done bisexual falls in the good old college try experimentation category. You experiment and try something sexual and never try it again. A one and done bisexual has a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex and then never tries it again.
Fake Bisexual – I wish this was not true, but you will see a lot of fake bisexuals on online swinger sites. They claim that one of them is bisexual when they really are not. Most of the time this happens because the male half of the couple wants to have an FMF threesome and claims his wife is bisexual. When it comes down to actually playing, she is not in the mood for same sex play. Many times, she may not even know that her husband listed her as bisexual. So, a fake bisexual is a straight person that is listed or claims they are bisexual when they really are not.
Forced Bisexual – A forced bisexual is even worse than a fake bisexual. Sometimes you will run into couples were one of them forces their partner to have bisexual encounters when they are really 100% straight.
Hidden Bisexual – Hidden bisexuals are the ones that are bisexual but hide it from the general public. This has been caused by the huge number of homophobes and biphobia still around. It is also caused by the many stigmas that bisexuals have to deal with. They are afraid to be open about their bisexuality and hide it. In the swinger community this is more prevalent in bisexual men. It’s a shame when a person can’t express their true sexuality to others. Even though there are still a lot of homophobes and biphobia in the swinger community, it still gives the hidden bisexual more acceptance than general society.
Now that we have mentioned hidden bisexuals, biphobia, and homophobia, let’s explore the stigmas that you still may encounter in the swinger lifestyle concerning bisexuality next.
Bisexual Stigmas and Problems You May Still Encounter in the Swinger Lifestyle
Bisexuals in the swinger lifestyle on occasion face stigmas and stereotypes. These stigmas and stereotypes they face are luckily dwindling as the years pass. But I feel they do need mentioning so you are aware of them. Let’s start off by looking at the most prevalent stigmas and stereotypes the female bisexual faces in the swinger lifestyle.
Stigmas, Problems, and Stereotypes Facing Female Bisexuality in the Swinger Community
Fetishization – Many times bisexual women are seen as sexual objects based on their sexual orientation. Common forms of bisexual fetishization in the swinger lifestyle can be seen in threesome propositions intended to basically be male fantasy fuel. Fetishization can also lead to the bisexual woman’s sexuality being reduced to nothing more than a performative act for the male’s pleasure.
Performance Expectations – Fetishization can lead to performance expectations of the bisexual female. Sometimes she is pressured into engaging in same-sex activities for the male’s pleasure, rather than her genuine desire of having a true bisexual sexual encounter. Or they are seen as going through a “phase.”
Dehumanization – Some bisexual women in the swinger lifestyle face dehumanization. They are seen only as sexual objects that are available for other’s sexual needs and desires regardless of their own feelings and desires.
Bi-Erasure – Some bisexual women in the swinger lifestyle face bi-erasure because some swingers believe the woman is basically straight or are accused of just performing for men.
Biphobia – Some people in the swinger lifestyle discriminatory attitudes and are prejudice against female bisexuals. Some straight women in the swinger lifestyle are even afraid that their husbands will be more interested in the bisexual female. This leads to jealousy with overtones of anger and resentment.
Let’s now move on to what stigmas and stereotypes the male bisexual faces in the swinger lifestyle.
Stigmas, Problems, and Stereotypes Facing Male Bisexuality in the Swinger Community
Male bisexuality in the swinger community faces even more stigma and flat-out rejection than female bisexuality. Here are the main problems bisexual males face in the swinger lifestyle.
Homophobic – The swinger lifestyle claims to be a playground for open-minded couples and singles. It’s still far from that. The swinger lifestyle still has a large number of homophobic males. This actually makes it a lot more difficult for even the straight males where the woman is interested in MFM threesomes.
Biphobia Violence – Some bisexual males, and even some straight males experience biphobia violence from time to time. Just the simple brushing of two males bodies together while pleasing a woman can turn into a violent encounter, even when the male-male contact was not meant in a sexual way.
Demasculinization – Many bisexual males are treated as not being masculine. The homophobics label them as feminine and not a true male.
Pressure to Conform – Many swinger bisexual males are pressured by other swingers to conform to heterosexual norms while in the swinger space.
Exclusion – Many couples with a bisexual male have found that they are excluded and not invited to many swinger lifestyle events and parties.
Limited Options – Many swinger couples will not even play with a bisexual man. Even though he has agreed to play straight only. Many couples with a bisexual male are so afraid of the homophobics that they set their online profiles to straight, even though they are bisexual.
Now that we have discussed the stigmas and problems a bisexual swinger may encounter, let’s move on and look at some of the bisexual misconceptions that could be encountered in the swinger community.
Bisexual Misconceptions You May Possibly Encounter in the Swinger Lifestyle
There are many misconceptions about both female and male bisexuality. Enough to write a book. Let’s just look at the most common misconceptions about bisexuality in the swinger lifestyle so this article does not go on to the point of boring you.
Let’s start off by looking at the most common misconceptions you will encounter in the swinger lifestyle concerning bisexual females. Then we will look at the most common misconception you will encounter concerning male bisexuality.
The Most Common Misconceptions Concerning Bisexual Females in the Swinger Lifestyle
Bisexual Females Are Either Lesbians or Straight – Some swingers struggle to except that a female can be sexually attracted to both sexes. This is basically a form of bi-erasure.
Bisexual Females Can’t be Monogamous – This is a total false belief. A bisexual female can be happily married to a male and be 100% monogamous. Other bisexual females may prefer to be non-monogamous just like any other person.
Bisexual Females Are Promiscuous and Likely to Cheat – This is a very common misconception. In truth, bisexual females in the swinger lifestyle have the same types and ranges of relationships that straight people do. Being attracted to both men and women does not equate to cheating on your spouse.
Swinger Women Are Only Bisexual to Get the Attention of Males – This is actually a very harmful misconception. This myth does nothing but objectify and dismiss a bisexual woman’s actual sexual attractions.
Bisexual Females are Just in a Phase – This is a highly pervasive misconception that bisexuality is just temporary, or experimental like in the college days. It’s almost like some people feel bisexual women need to pick a side. In truth, bisexuality is a valid and stable sexual orientation. Some women do experiment in bisexuality and then determine that it’s not for them, while other women decide that they are truly bisexual. So, not all bisexual women are in a phase.
The Most Common Misconceptions Concerning Bisexual Males in the Swinger Lifestyle
Bisexual Males are Really Just Gay – Some in the swinger lifestyle feel male bisexuality does not exist. Their belief is the male is actually gay but has not accepted that yet.
Bisexual Men Have to Have Sex With Both Men and Women to be Fulfilled Sexually – This is a myth. Bisexual men can be sexually fulfilled by having sex with just a woman or just a man. In fact, many bisexual males in the swinger lifestyle only enjoy sex with a man if a woman is also involved in the sexual encounter. MMF threesomes, for example.
Male Bisexuality is a 50/50 Split – This misconception comes from pure ignorance. Bisexuality can exist on a very wide spectrum and can involve varying levels of attraction to both sexes.
Bisexual Men Are Less Masculine – I really do believe this misconception originated from homophobia. Most homophobic people feel that bisexual men are feminine since they are not straight.
Now that we have explored some of the misconceptions you may encounter in the swinger community about bisexual females and males, let’s look at how to explore bisexuality in the swinger lifestyle next.
Exploring Bisexuality in the Swinger Lifestyle
If either you or your spouse feels they may be bisexual, the swinger lifestyle may be a great avenue for the two of you to explore bisexuality. Let’s dive in and explore bisexuality in the swinger lifestyle and community.
One of the first steps in exploring bisexuality is to have strong open communications with your partner. You need to discuss the possibility or known fact that you are bisexual and want to explore your sexuality. This needs to be brought up in the open to determine your partner’s thoughts about it. Some partners may have a problem with it. So, be ready just in case they are not open at all to your bisexual exploration. Never just spring it on your partner during sexual group play. Always discuss things with your partner before taking any actual action.
If your partner is open to the idea of you exploring bisexuality, sit down and discuss boundaries that may be needed while engaging in same sex sexual interactions. Discuss the subject of exploring bisexuality in-depth and make sure the two of you are on the same page before proceeding.
Make sure the two of you keep open and honest communications going throughout your exploration. You need to always keep your partners’ current feelings and thoughts about the subject up in front. You or your partner’s wants, desires, needs, and boundaries may change as time goes on. Re-visit the bisexual discussion frequently.
If your partner is OK with you exploring your bisexuality, it’s usually best to start off slowly by just testing the waters. Starting off slowly is always best if you are not sure that you are or are not bisexual. Remember, there are also many degrees of bisexuality. Starting off slow also allows your partner to see if they are really OK with you having some form of sexual encounter with the same sex. Sometimes you just don’t know if you are OK with something until you actually see it happen.
You could start off with simply flirting with someone that is bisexual and the same sex as you. This could be ramped up slowly to kissing and fondling. If you and your partner are still OK with things, you could move up to having a threesome with your partner and another bisexual of the same sex as you.
If you decide on having a FFM or MMF threesome, the two bisexuals could start off by pleasuring the third person. Then slowly introduce a little same sex play while still having the threesome. If that goes well you could slowly transition to one-on-one sexual play between you and the other person of the same sex, while your partner watches the two of you having a more serious sexual encounter.
If all goes well, and you decide that you are truly bisexual, and your partner is comfortable or even encouraging your bisexuality, it’s time to move on to actually fulfilling your bisexual fantasies. Here are some examples of bisexual fantasies you and your partner may want to explore.
Watching your partner kissing someone of the same sex.
Having MMF or FFM threesomes on a regular basis.
Girl-on-girl sexual play while the male watches or alone.
Guy-on-guy sexual play while the female watches or alone.
Attend special bisexual events.
Search for couples online that have one bisexual partner or possibly both being bisexual.
One thing I need to mention here is the importance of aftercare. This is especially important after the first few bisexual experiences. You and your partner need to sit down and discuss the experience. What did each of you like? What did each of you not like? Do either of you have any concerns? Etc.
Another avenue the two of you could take is to seek out swingers clubs that hold bisexual nights or bisexual events. When you find one, the two of you should attend. These special bisexual nights and events will allow you to be a lot more comfortable and open to exploring your bisexuality. It could help both of you to actually talk and get to know other couples where one or both are bisexual.
