If you have been in the swinger lifestyle for a good period of time, I am sure you have noticed how the swinger club DJ styles and music scene has evolved, or is that devolved, over time. You have probably noticed very notable differences between the old-style DJ and the new DJ styles. These drastic changes have made a major impact on the overall atmosphere and swinger experience at on-premise swinger clubs.
Let’s pose the questions; Is this the decline of dance floor seduction?: Are modern swinger club DJs failing the swinger scene? Are today’s swinger club DJs out of step with what the swinger lifestyle is?
Let’s start off with exploring the past and present-day swinger DJ and music scenes while we ponder on the questions I have posed above. Please note that this is an editorial opinion piece and not a scientific study.
Let’s dive in and look at the typical swinger club experience today and then compare it to the typical swinger club experience of the past.
Walking Into a Typical Swingers Club Today
The two of you get all dressed up and head to the local swinger club with plans of a wild sex filled night. When you walk into the club you are greeted by high energy and very loud music. You then see the crowd and quickly think to yourself, wow, this is one hell of a party! You notice that the music is a mix of EDM and contemporary pop. You also quickly notice the DJ is pretty much keeping to him or herself and not paying much attention to the crowd. The place looks and feels like you are at a high energy dance party at a local nightclub, and not at a pheromone filled sensual swinger party.
Reality starts setting in. Even though it looks like people are having a good time, you quickly realize that it’s hard to socialize with other couples over the loud high energy music. The two of you decide to go over to the DJ to make a music request and find out that they don’t accept requests. You then realize that the DJ is working off of a set playlist and is not concerned about the crowd at all.
The two of you finally find a quiet corner and even though you still need to shout, you are able to socialize a little. The two of you decide that you are attracted to the other couple and would love to get them out on the dance floor. So, you keep your fingers crossed that the DJ would play a slow song, so you can actually put your arms around the other person and get to intimately know them a little. And if it feels right, possibly kiss them and let each other’s hands wander a bit. But, sadly, that much wanted slow song is never played.
This was not what you expected. You both start questioning if you walked into a swingers club, or into a regular nightclub.
Walking Into a Typical Swingers Club in the Past
Let’s rewind a bit to the not-so-distant past. You and your spouse get all dressed up to impress and head to your local swingers club. You walk inside like you are walking down the red carpet. When you enter the club the first thing you notice is a lot of couples and a few select singles socializing in groups. As you get further into the club, you realize the dance floor is full of couples that have swapped partners and are slow dancing with each other. You quickly notice a lot of flirting going on, and even some wandering hands. Everyone seems to be enjoying the one-on-one time with someone they just met just a little while ago. Another thing you notice is several single women dancing very sensually with each other or on a stripper pole. Everything looks and sounds so sensual. It’s a recipe for some great sex that could soon happen.
You also quickly notice that you can actually socialize with other guests without the need to scream at each other to be heard. You find it a lot easier to get to know another couple and flirt with them. You see other couples flirting with other couples up close and personal. If you were an outsider looking in, it would appear that everyone is on a date with their favorite guy or girl. They may even think that it’s Valentine’s day. Little did they know almost everyone was flirting with a total stranger.
As the night progresses, you notice the DJ plays a mix of high energy and slow songs. It seems they know how to actually work a group of swingers to give them the best opportunity to actually meet other swingers and head to the playrooms for a night of sexual exploration with people they just met, or even old friends they have known for some time. The DJ works the crowd into a high energy party feeling and then slows it way down to a very sensual and slow energy level. The DJ repeats this throughout the night. You also notice the DJ is taking song requests from the guests and even socializing with them.
The atmosphere the DJ created throughout the night was aimed at bringing strangers together and giving them the opportunity to flirt and take things as far as they want.
How the Swinger Club DJ and Music Scene Has Changed Over Time
The DJ styles and music scene in swinger clubs has changed over time, with very noticeable differences between the old and new approaches. These changes have made large impacts to the overall swinger lifestyle atmosphere and experience of swinger club guests. Here are some of the main changes that have occurred over time. We’ll compare the old and new styles of each of the main changes to the swinger club experience.
Music Selection
Old Style: Music played in a swingers club focused on smooth house, disco, and old school style music. The music emphasized R&B, 70s/80s rock. It also included popular dance music from the 70s, 80s and 90s. There was a large selection of fast and slow songs played.
New Style: The new style of music is heavy on EDM (Electronic Dance Music) and incorporates more contemporary pop music and remixes. Some clubs still play 90s and 00s pop music, which can be hit or miss.
Atmosphere and Energy
Old Style: The DJ aimed to create a relaxed, unpretentious environment in the club. He aimed to create a hedonistic pleasure atmosphere. The DJ focused on reading the room and adjusting to the crowd’s energy and needs.
New Style: The new style is often criticized for being too EDM focused, creating a less suitable atmosphere for swingers. It usually feels more like a regular nightclub than a hedonistic swingers club.
DJ Techniques
Old Style: DJ’s paid attention to and felt out the room and party guests in it. They would structure music sets with a slow ramp-up leading to a climax and finish the set to match the guest’s sexual rhythm. The DJ played a good mix of fast and slow music. So, the swingers could get up close and personal as the night progressed. When needed, the old-style DJ could improvise as needed to keep the night sensual and hedonistic.
New Style: The new style DJ usually relies heavily on pre-planned music sets and lists. They usually use modern DJ equipment and software to do the mixing, instead of themselves. This leads to the crowd feeling they are at a regular nightclub listening to a planned music show. This style of DJ does not work the crowd or produce the swinger atmosphere that the DJ of the past did.
Volume and Conversation
Old Style: The old-style DJ maintained a conversation-friendly music volume. He recognized that the music was secondary to actual social interactions between the guests.
New Style: The new style DJ is criticized frequently for being too loud and hindering conversations between the guests. The new style DJ seems to prioritize creating a high-energy dance atmosphere over facilitating socializing and hedonistic encounters of the guests.
Song Progression
Old Style: The old-style DJ carefully curated song progression to match the party’s energy, while slipping in song requests by the guests. Each song set almost always ended with a slow song or two so the swingers could pair off and actually get to flirt one-on-one while holding each other in their arms. The old-style DJ also considered factors like time of night, number of people on the dance floor, the personal interactions of the guests, etc.
New Style: The new style DJ mainly focuses on maintaining a consistent high-energy atmosphere and basically ignores the nuances of the crowd, and time of night. This can lead to far fewer swingers making sexual connections. Especially new swingers.
Common Complaints Heard About the New Style of Swinger DJ and Music Scene
Let’s now look at some of the common complaints heard about the new style of swinger club DJ and the new swinger music scene. Here are the complaints you hear about the most.
Overreliance on EDM (Electronic Dance Music): Swingers clubs attract all age groups of people. Many of these age groups do not like EDM music. You hear many complaints that the swinger clubs tend to play way to much Electronic Dance Music, which may not really be suitable for the swingers club atmosphere.
Volume Issues: Music in a swinger club is often played way too loudly, making it very difficult for guests to have meaningful conversations. This tends to hinder social interactions, which are crucial in swinger clubs. You will hear complaints that it’s a mood killer when you are trying to flirt with someone and have to almost scream for them to hear you. The music can be so overwhelming, you have to repeat a compliment or sexual flirtation so many times that the right time is gone and the mood is killed.
Inappropriate Song Choices: Sometimes you hear complaints about the DJ killing the mood by playing a totally inappropriate song during an intimate moment. Or playing what sounds like a slow hedonistic song, only to just moments later break into a high energy song.
Lack of Music Variety: Some guests complain about the lack of music variety. Many swinger clubs now seem to stick to one genre of music. EDM, 90s/00s, etc., Without mixing it up to cater to all guest age groups. The DJs tend to no longer consider tastes and age group dynamics.
Poor Song Progressions: Some guests complain about how the DJ does not read the room or work the crowd. They keep the atmosphere high energy throughout the night and don’t slow things down from time to time to allow slow dancing and one-on-one flirting. They don’t select song progressions to create a fun party environment that is also very sensual and hedonistic. This reduces the number of couples that pair off and head to the playrooms because they DJ decides to keep things at a high energy party level all night.
Inconsistent Genre Shifts: You will hear complaints that the DJ abruptly shifts genres throughout the night that causes the dance floor to clear out and disrupt the flow of the swinger party.
No Song Requests: This is a big complaint by many party guests. The DJ does not take song requests. The DJ seems to not cater to the crowd and only caters to his or her desires. They don’t seem to realize that they are a DJ for a swinger club, instead of a nightclub.
DJ Not Understanding the Swinger Lifestyle: This is another big complaint you will hear. The DJ does not have a clue what the swinger lifestyle is even about. They think it’s just another party or nightclub. There are exceptions to this rule. Some of the better swinger club DJs are actually swingers.
Just listening to the most common complaints you hear highlight the importance of a swinger club employing a DJ who can read a swinger crowd, maintain an appropriate hedonistic atmosphere, and select music that enhances rather than hinders the unique social and intimate environment of swingers clubs.
How Can Club Owners Improve the DJ and Music Scene in Their Swinger Club?
Let’s explore several successful strategies that a swinger club owner can implement to improve the DJ and music experience in a typical swinger club.
Better Playlist Curation: Instruct the DJ to create a diverse playlists that will cater to different age groups, and music preferences of swingers. These playlists should include a mix of genres, such as smooth house, rock, R&B, and disco. Concentrate on genres from the crowd’s high school and college years. Instruct the DJ to avoid overreliance on EDM, which is a common complaint you hear from swingers. Incorporate into these swinger designed playlists both upbeat and slower songs to provide a variety of atmospheres from party to slower hedonistic vibes.
Actual or Better Reading of the Room: A swinger club should hire a good DJ that can read the room and gauge the age and moods of the swinger crowd. The DJ then can select appropriate music by watching the dance floor and adjusting the music based on the couple’s responses and actions. The DJ should also be open to taking music requests from the party guests. A swinger club needs a good DJ that knows how to read the room and change the atmosphere as the night goes on. The DJ should start out with a party vibe and as time passes gradually move towards a more hedonistic vibe. The idea is to bring swingers together and move them to the playrooms as the night progresses. Not keeping them in a high energy party vibe.
Crowd Energy Management: The swinger club DJ should structure music playlists with a ramp-up, climax, and finish it off to match the room’s sexual rhythm. The DJ should gradually increase and decrease BPM (beats per minute) to maintain a steady groove. The DJ should alternate between high-energy dance music and slower songs to prevent dance fatigue and also allow swingers to get more intimate time with each other on the dance floor.
Proper Volume Control: Have the DJ learn and implement proper volume control of the music. The DJ should maintain a conversation-friendly volume, especially in the early evening. The DJ needs to recognize that the music is secondary to the social interaction of the guests. The music is not the main event.
Better Timing and Progression: Have the DJ start off the night with basic, popular songs from various genres and categories. The DJ should build the energy of the crowd gradually throughout the night but not forget to allow for slow dancing periods so the swingers can flirt and get more intimate on the dance floor. The DJ should also on occasion later in the night when the guests are more relaxed, play crowd-pleasers like dances or other songs that always seem to get a lot of people onto the dance floor. The DJ should be paying attention to the crowd’s response to the music, if it clears the floor, don’t play it.
Better DJ Techniques Suitable for a Swinger Club: The club owner should provide the DJ with the proper DJ equipment. The DJ needs to be able to effectively create smooth transitions between songs. The DJ also needs a microphone to be able to make announcements and shoutouts, as well as being able to encourage the crowd to get up and mingle with other swingers. The DJ should also encourage song requests to make the atmosphere feel more personal to the individual swinger guests. A good DJ can set the mood and atmosphere in a swingers club by just what he or she says.
Proper Swinger Club Atmosphere Creation: Have the DJ transition the atmosphere after the crowd starts to move to the playrooms. The DJ should slowly transition to music with a heavy beat but still have a melodic quality. Examples would be trance or trance remixes of popular songs. The DJ needs to avoid mood-killing song choices that would be inappropriate for the time of night and club setting. As the guests start moving to the playrooms the DJ should keep the atmosphere of the club very hedonistic and sensual.
By having your swinger club DJ implement these strategies, the DJ can create a much more enjoyable and suitable music experience in the swinger club. The DJ needs to enhance the overall hedonistic atmosphere and cater to the unique needs of a swinger club and its guests. Not detract from it.
Final Thoughts
While new DJ styles in swingers clubs often incorporate more EDM music and advanced mixing techniques that feel more like a regular nightclub instead of a swingers club, they many times fail to create the intimate, sensual, hedonistic atmosphere that older swinger DJ styles prioritized.
The key to a successful swingers club DJ still remains in the DJ balancing energetic dance music with the unique social and intimate needs of a true swingers club and its guests. The new style of swinger DJ does not provide the actual swinger lifestyle experience many swingers expect. Yes, there are exceptions. Some swinger clubs still use a more modern version of the old style. Some also mix both old and new styles into theme nights.
Ask yourself; Do you want to attend a swinger club, or a general run of the mill nightclub? The choice could be in your hands. What are your thoughts on the subject? Let us know in the comment area. Do you prefer the old or the new style of swinger club DJ?
Is This the Decline of Dance Floor Seduction?: Are Modern Swinger Club DJs Failing the Swinger Scene? Or, has the swinger scene become a nightclub that just happens to have playrooms? Think about it.
