So, you are going to attend your very first swinger party. I’m sure you are nervous. That is completely normal.
Here are a few points you will want to keep in mind when attending your first swinger party.
Make sure you discuss any rules or limits you and your partner want to set. Go into the swinger party with an open mind. Meet as many couples and singles as you can. Don’t drink too much and don’t ever feel pressured.
OK, that was a quick and dirty answer. Let’s look at attending your first swinger party in much greater detail.
Attending Your First Swinger Party
When going to your very first swingers party make sure you go in with an open mind and aim to just have fun. Let’s go over some points in detail that will help to make your first party experience a success.
Let’s start at the beginning and discuss rules and limits the two of you may want to set or need to set.
Discuss and Set Rules Before Going to the Swinger Party
This is probably the most important step that will help to determine if your first swinger party experience is a fun and exciting success or a total failure or jealous nightmare.
The very first thing you need to do before attending your very first swinger party is to discuss in great detail with your partner what your rules and limits will be as a couple.
Rules should be equal and not one sided. If you have one rule for one of you, that same rule should apply to the other. You can have one-sided rules down the road after you are experienced at swinging.
Decide if you only play as a couple? Will you full swing or just soft swing? Will flirting with others be OK? Will foreplay with another person be fine without the other being involved? Will kissing be OK? Will penetration be fine? Will condoms be required?
Everything you can think of needs to be discussed and decided on mutually if it will be allowed or not. Set your rules, limits and expectations of each other and stick to them.
I can’t stress the importance of laying down the ground rules each of you will be following and sticking to them! Breaking a rule that the two of you have made can cause serious problems and end your swinger lifestyle in seconds. Just don’t do it. Keep to the rules the two of you have agreed on. You can always revisit your rules and modify them between swinger parties.
One thing I would recommend is working out a signaling system between the two of you. This way you can let the other know if they are OK with something about to happen or not. For example, you meet a couple, and you want to play with them. Signal your partner to signal back if they want to play with them or not.
Anytime you are unsure about a situation, signal your partner to see what they think.
One final thing you need to discuss with each other is what to do if one of you gets jealous? Jealousy can get very ugly very quickly and needs to be dealt with as soon as possible. Even if it means leaving the swinger party early.
Always keep in mind that your relationship is a lot more important than having sex with others. Swinging can enhance sex and actually bring the two of you closer. But it can also destroy a relationship. So, make your rules and limits and stick to them.
Now that your rules, limits and expectations are fully agreed on, it’s time to go to your first swingers party.
First Things to Do Upon Arrival
The first thing you want to do when you arrive to the swingers party is to thank the host for inviting you.
If you drove to the swinger party, you are going to need to park somewhere. Many swinger parties have someone outside directing people where to park. If not, make sure you ask the host of the party if the place you parked is OK. You don’t want to ruin a fun night with your car getting towed.
If you brought drinks, food or a cooler, ask the host where you should put them. Most parties have a designated area to put everything you brought.
Now that you have settled in a bit, it’s time to ask about the party rules. Make sure you fully understand them, don’t be afraid to ask about any rules you need explained in more detail. When in doubt, ask for clarification.
Now it’s time to start meeting other couples and singles. If it’s a small party, ask to be introduced to everyone. If it’s a large party, ask if it’s possible to be introduced to a few couples that are attending the party.
As you are mingling and meeting new swingers, let everyone know that this is the first swinger party you have been to. You will receive a lot more personal attention and others will help to ease your tension and introduce you to other couples. Many seasoned couples will even take you under their wing and make sure you have a great first party experience.
Let’s now move on and look at other ways to meet couples at the swinger party.
Tips on Meeting Other Couples at the Swinger Party
When you go to a swingers party your main focus should be on meeting other couples and singles at the party. Most swingers are very friendly people and open to making new friends. The more people you know, the more you will feel like you fit in.
Many swinger parties have ice breaker games to help relax their guests and get everyone in a party mood.
Ice breaker games are designed to help couples get to know everyone at the party. They also help to lower your inhibitions and calm your jitters.
They are usually played at the start of a party so make sure you are on time and join in the games.
Don’t be afraid to just start talking to another couple. Really get to know them. Oh, and never start by asking a couple you just met if they want to play. Talk to them, get to know them first.
Once you know a couple and have talked to them at a few parties you could then get a little bit forward and make a statement like, we have met at several parties, would you like to get to know us in a little more personal manner?
If they say no, don’t freak out. Stick around and talk more. You still have new friends. You don’t need to play with every couple you meet. You may actually get to know another couple through them that you sexually click with.
Don’t Overindulge With the Drinks
Many first-time swinger party-goers make this mistake because they are nervous. They drink way too much alcohol. Don’t be one of them. You will end up regretting it.
With your first few parties you will be tempted to drink a little too much to calm your nerves. Don’t do it! Go easy on the drinking. You don’t want to look like drunks. Plus, guys, the more you drink the more difficult it is to get an erection. You are here to use that erection, not lose it.
While drinking at the swinger party, pace yourself. Drink slowly or alternate a drink and a glass of water throughout the night.
Know your tolerance level and stay below it. Have a drink or two to help you relax. Don’t get trashed!
Never Feel Pressured
When you attend your first swinger party, just relax and have fun. Enjoy the total party experience. But never feel pressured and think that you have to have sex with someone.
Don’t feel pressured to have sex with other people if it does not feel like the right time or the right couple or single. Many swingers don’t have sex at every party they attend. It’s normal. Many just go to meet other couples that they can get to know and become friends with. They then do most of their playing at home, a hotel or other off premise location. So, wait until it feels right. You will know when you and your partner are attracted to another couple and want to have a little extra fun with them.
What to Do When Leaving the Swingers Party
So hopefully you had a fun and exciting night and made a lot of new friends.
Don’t forget to thank your party host. Let them know that you had a great time and enjoyed the party. Thank them for inviting you and let them know you would love to come back to another one of their parties.
Swinger party hosts have opened up their home to you. They also put a lot of work into putting on a great party. Make sure you make them feel appreciated.
Now it’s time for the return trip home.
Returning Home
Now it’s time to return home. Make sure you don’t forget anything that you brought to the swinger party.
On the way home start discussing the party with your partner. What did you like and not like? What did your partner like or not like?
Did either of you feel any jealousy, resentment or envy? Did either of you feel left out?
Discuss what fun you had. If you both had a good time, that’s great. But if one of you did not, talk about it and find out what could be done differently so you both enjoy the experience next time.
The swinging lifestyle is not for everyone. If it turns out that it’s not for you, that’s perfectly fine. If it is for you, get ready for an adventure you will never forget.
If you both had a great time, go get yourself invited to your next swinger party and have some more fun. Oh, welcome to the swinger lifestyle. If you see us at a party, say hi.
