If you have been around the swinger lifestyle or have been looking into possibly participating in the swinger lifestyle, you may have heard the term soft swing.
If you are not sure what soft swing is, you will shortly find out.
Let’s answer the question, what is soft swing and then look into if soft swing is for you.
So, what is soft swing?
Soft swing is a term used by swingers that have major limits and rules they insist are followed by others during sex. The old text-book definition was that soft swing swingers did not allow penile vagina penetration while sexually playing with other couples or singles in the swinger lifestyle.
Now that you know the basic original definition of the term soft swing, let’s look at how it is used today in the swinger community.
What is Soft Swing?
Let’s answer the question what is soft swing in a lot more detail. We will look at the original definition, the main types of soft swinging, how the definition of soft swing can change, and the importance of discussing rules and limits with other couples and singles in the swinger lifestyle before any sexual encounters.
Original Definition of Soft Swing
The original definition of soft swing or soft swinging was very easy to understand. Are you ready for it? Well, here it is.
Soft swing meant that a couple would have sex with other couples or singles but would not allow any penis vagina penetration. They would also, only play as a couple and only play in the same room.
They would not play individually with others and would not play in separate rooms.
This original definition of soft swinging was very straight forward and was very easy for other swingers to understand.
Well, that was the original definition. The phrase soft swing has not morphed over time to have many definitions and subsets of definitions. If you are confused now, just keep reading, I’ll do my best to fill you in on the NEW definition of soft swing.
The Main Types of Soft Swinging
The term soft swing has become a label for a wide range of swinging limits and rules some swingers have when they sexually play with others.
Grab your partner and hold onto each other. We are going in deep about what soft swing means today.
Let’s start off with the main types of soft swinging that the term soft swing currently references.
- The original definition of soft swing. Couples play with others in the same room but do not allow penile vagina penetration.
- Couples play together but only allow the women to make contact with each other.
- Couples play together but only allow oral sex.
- Couples play in front of each other but do not allow any contact.
- One couple will have sex while the other couple watches. No contact between couples is allowed.
Now let’s toss in some confusion. Let’s discuss how the soft swing definition can change from couple to couple.
Soft Swing Definition Can Change Even More
There can be as many definitions of the term soft swing as there are couples and singles in the swinger lifestyle. There is no longer a dictionary definition.
Some couples consider that only playing in the same room is soft swing. Other couples consider it meaning that they only play as a couple and not as a single.
If you asked a group of couples what they consider to be soft swinging, you will most likely get a wide variety of responses. You may even get some answers that basically says that it depends on who they are playing with.
Soft swing can be a term used for a particular couple’s set of rules and limits they play by.
To be safe, you really need to discuss with another couple or single what their limits and rules are.
Always Discuss Limits and Rules Before Sexual Play
Since the definition of soft swing is really not cut and dry, always discuss your limits and rules and the couple or single you will be playing with limits and rules.
Be very clear on your definition of soft swing and make sure you are very clear on the other couple or single’s definition of soft swing.
This is one of the most important things you can do to enjoy the swinger lifestyle to its fullest.
You don’t want someone to accidentally step over one of your boundaries or for one of you to accidentally step over their boundaries.
Let’s now take a quick look at one last typical soft swing rule.
Soft Swing is Usually Same Room Play
You will rarely find a couple that are soft swing swingers that will play in separate rooms. They will almost always only agree to play with another couple if they are all in the same room.
You will also rarely see a couple that are soft swing swingers allow just one of them to go off with a couple or single to play. It does happen, but rarely.
Now that you have a good idea on what soft swing encompasses, let’s take a look at when soft swing is the best option for a couple or single in the swinger lifestyle.
When Is Soft Swing the Best Option?
Let’s take a look at some reasons that soft swing may be the best option for you as a couple.
Let’s start off with you are new to swinging.
You Are Brand New to Swinging
If you and your partner are brand new to the swinging lifestyle, you may want to take it slow at first.
You may want to start out with only allowing oral sex and see how that goes.
When you start out slow, you can see how each of you feels about swinging before you dive in deeper.
Once you become more experienced with swinging and become more relaxed about it, you can modify your play rules.
If you both enjoy the experience of soft swing, you can move on to full swing when you are ready.
It’s also OK to remain as soft swing swingers if that is what the two of you want.
You’re Trying to Get Pregnant
If you or your partner is trying to get pregnant, but you don’t want to stop swinging, you can always go soft swing for a while.
You could allow all the oral sex and other sex acts that don’t involve any penile vagina penetration between anyone but each other.
Once you or your partner becomes pregnant, you could go back to full swing if you desire.
You will find may swingers that are trying to have a child choose this option. It allows them to still enjoy the swinger lifestyle without the worry of someone else accidentally getting you or your partner pregnant.
Just Not Sure if the Swinging Lifestyle Is for You
If you or your partner is just curious about swinging, you can give soft swing a try with very firm rules set. This way you can see if the swinging lifestyle is something you may want to pursue.
You can start off with very strict rules that the two of you follow. Maybe only kissing and fondling is allowed.
If you both enjoyed the experience, you could then modify your rules to allow oral sex. Then see how that goes.
If you decide that the swinging lifestyle was not what you expected, you can simply cross it off your bucket list and go back to vanilla life.
If you are not sure what vanilla means in the swinger lifestyle, it’s a term used to describe people who do not swing.
When One of You Is Bisexual but Don’t Want to Be Full Swingers
You do see this one occasionally. Where one partner is bisexual but the two of you don’t want to be full swap swingers.
Full swap simply means you trade partners for sex.
You can set firm rules that the bisexual partner can play with the same sex people but not with the opposite sex.
This allows the bisexual partner to experience their bisexuality.
Sometimes you can find other couples that the two bisexual people can play with while the other two watch.
You can also, sometimes find a single bisexual person the two of you can play with.
When One or Both of You Is the Jealous Type
If one or both of you are the jealous type, you will want to venture into the swinger lifestyle at a snail’s pace.
Jealousy can destroy a relationship in the blink of an eye. So be very careful.
Start out with very strict rules and limits. Have some method to communicate to your partner if you begin to get even a little jealous. Both of you must be willing to back off if jealousy rears its ugly head.
With soft swing you can set your rules as strict or as lose as the two of you feel are needed.
I’m going to be very honest here. Jealousy and swinging do not mix. If either of you are the jealous type, the swinger lifestyle may not be for you.
You Consider Some Demonstrations of Affection as Private
If you and your partner consider some demonstrations of affection as a private matter, soft swing may be the way to go.
Some couples consider some of the following as signs of affection that they only show each other. These shows of affection can include kissing, hugging, caressing, massaging and intercourse.
So, if the two of you have a form of affection that you reserve just for the two of you, soft swing may be the answer.
Just establish what you are willing to do and not do with other couples and singles in the swinger lifestyle.
Now that we have explored when soft swing may be the best option, let’s explore when it may not be the best option.
When Is Soft Swing Not the Best Option?
Now let’s explore when soft swing is not going to be the best option to take.
Let’s start off with how soft swing can limit the number of people available for the two of you to play with sexually.
Less Couples and Singles to Play With
The majority of swingers are full swap and don’t set any limiting rules regarding sex play.
Many of these same swingers will not play with soft swing swingers.
If you don’t want to limit greatly who is available for the two of you to play with, soft swing would not be the best option.
Highly Limits Experiences and Opportunities
Soft swing will limit the types of experiences and opportunities to swing greatly.
If you want to be able to have a wide variety of sexual experiences, going soft swing will most likely not be the best choice.
Many soft swing swingers are left out of many sexual encounter opportunities. Simply because their set of rules don’t work well with the other swingers involved.
Group and Orgy Rooms
Group and orgy rooms for the most part are anything goes areas of swingers clubs.
If you are soft swing swingers, it is best that you do not enter these types of sex playrooms.
Playing with others in a group room or orgy room is basically a guarantee that someone will overstep one or many of your rules and limits.
When the Two of You Want to Sexually Experiment
If the two of you want to sexually experiment with different sex acts, soft swing can put a damper on your experimentation.
What you have to keep in mind is that when experimenting with other couples or singles, they may completely forget your rules in the heat of the moment. This can greatly reduce your sexual experimentation.
When You Want to Have Raw Unbridled Sex
When you want to just get down and dirty, setting soft swing rules can ruin the heat of the moment.
Rules and unbridled sex just don’t mix.
When You Sometimes Want to Play Alone
If the two of you want to have different room sex or one of you wants to play alone, soft swing can cause problems.
If you decided to be soft swing swingers, you need to trust each other 100% if you do try separate room sex.
Even the slightest hint of jealousy could cause you to wonder if your partner is breaking your rules in the other room.
Bottom line, playing alone or separate room sex does not mix with soft swing.
Find Out More About The Different Types of Swinging
The article you just read is part of a series. You can read the entire series about the different types of swinging by clicking on the following link.