Just like anything else in life, the interest and excitement of the swinger lifestyle can wane or even dwindle to nothing. Both of you could love the swinger lifestyle, and then one day one or both of you could start losing interest. This is almost always caused by the lack of excitement that was there when you first started exploring the lifestyle.
You could even be finding yourself in a sexual rut, dull, or even boring by doing the same thing over and over. To keep excitement in anything in life, you need to be constantly exploring, learning, and trying new things.
Does any of this sound like you? Or possibly your partner? I have gathered 17 exciting ideas to help you put the excitement back into your swinger relationship. Hopefully one or more of them will help the two of you to bring back that initial feeling of excitement you once had while swinging.
If one of the ideas in this article is just not to your taste, simply skip it and go on to the next. Just keep an open-mind and open communications between the two of you while reading through them.
The first thing I would recommend is to revisit your swinger lifestyle rules and limits. So, let’s explore them first.
Review Your Swinger Lifestyle Rules and Limits
Sit down and really take a look at the rules and limits the two of you have set and agreed upon. Many times, you will find that if your rules and limits are set to be too limiting, your enjoyment of swinging tends to drop.
Overly limiting rules and limits leave little room to try new sexual adventures together. They lead to doing the same thing over and over. This eventually gets boring.
Discuss each of your swinger lifestyle rules and limits with each other one by one. Ask yourself and each other the following questions about each rule and limit you currently have.
Does this rule get in the way of either of your sexual desires?
If this rule was modified, could it lead to more sexual enjoyment for each other?
If this rule was dropped, would that open up more sexual swinger possibilities for the two of you?
If you drop or modify a rule or limit, would it cause any problems for either of you?
When the two of you initially set this rule or limit, why did you set the rule or limit in the first place? Have things changed since then?
You may find that your lack of excitement in the swinger lifestyle comes about from simply outgrowing your existing rules and limits.
Explore Each Other’s Sexual Fantasies
This one can be fun for any open-minded couple that’s not afraid to really learn more about their partner.
Each of you should write down your sexual fantasies. Even the ones you never plan on fulfilling. OK, this can be a little scary, but can be well worth it. Once you both have written down your sexual fantasies, the next step is to trade lists.
When reading your partner’s sex fantasies, keep in mind that these are things that have turned on your partner, and not necessarily things they want to bring to life. So, keep an open-mind.
Now, take turns talking about one of your partner’s sex fantasies. Why does it turn them on? When have they fantasized about it? Is it a fantasy they may be interested in bringing to life? Or is it one that they want to keep in the fantasy realm?
If you find that both of you are getting turned on by a fantasy you are discussing, make note of it.
Once you finish discussing all the fantasies on both lists, it’s time to consider possibly attempting to fulfill one or more.
If one of the fantasies turns you both on, but is not really possible to bring to life, or is possibly illegal, can it be modified or just role-played with other swingers?
Many fantasies are just that. Fantasies that should remain in the fantasy realm. But some could add excitement to your swinger lifestyle adventures.
Try a New Swinger Lifestyle Sex Dynamic
Have the two of you always just swapped partners with another swinger couple? That could get boring over time. Both of you should consider trying out different swinger lifestyle sex dynamics. That could get the excitement back in your swinger lives.
You could try different types of threesomes. MFM, MMF, FMF, and FFM threesomes. Threesomes can be beneficial for sexual experimentation with the right third person.
Maybe the two of you could add excitement into swinging by watching others having sex. Or having other swingers watch the two of you having sex. Adding a touch of voyeurism or exhibitionism may be what the two of you need to get the excitement back.
How about trying a sexual dynamic that is a little extreme? Have the two of you ever participated in an orgy? Why not give it a try? Or perhaps hold a gangbang, or join one?
The main idea here is to try something new that the two of you have never done. Bringing newness into swinging could be the ticket to getting the excitement back.
Try a New Sexual Kink or Fetish Together
Trying something new like a sexual kink or fetish could add some excitement back into your swinger lifestyle. Sit down with your partner and read up on different kinks and fetishes. When you find one that piques even a little interest, learn more about it.
If it’s a simple kink or fetish that is easy to understand, give it a try. If it seems like you really need to learn how to do it properly and safely, find a swinger couple that is already into that particular kink or fetish. Let them show you the ropes and let them lead you through the kink or fetish.
There are an almost unlimited number of sexual kinks and fetishes that you could explore. You should be able to find several that pique your interest.
If you find a fairly common kink or fetish that you do enjoy, do a little research and see if you can find a party centered around that kink or fetish to attend.
Just trying new sexual things usually leads to more excitement in your relationship in general. Not just your swinger lifestyle.
Try New Swinger Clubs
Sometimes going to the same swinger club over and over can lead to getting in a sexual rut. You end up doing the same things over and over until they become boring. What you might need is a change of atmosphere.
Why not visit other swingers clubs that you have never attended? This could bring back the first-time newness and excitement feeling of not knowing what to expect. You also get to explore a new swinger club together. Don’t forget to explore their playrooms also.
Seeing new faces and making new swinger friends could add excitement back to your swinger relationship. So, take the time to plan small trips to visit other swingers clubs both near and far.
Get the Sexual Adrenaline Flowing
Sometimes being a little scared can lead to some of the most exciting and thrilling sex you could have. Maybe getting your adrenaline flowing could put that excitement back in your swinger relationship.
You could experiment with a little BDSM or bondage. Even a simple blindfold can add in unexpected excitement. Have you ever wanted to have really raw rough sex? Start out slow and see just how rough you like it. Rough sex can bring out the animal in many people.
Here is another idea. Try public sex. You could even start out with just showing very heavy public affection. Invite another swinger couple along and swap partners. Then get hot and heavy with them in public. But make sure you know the laws and keep it legal.
You can always find a secluded spot where you know other people are around, but they can’t see you unless by accident. This can still add in the thrill of possibly being caught.
Create a Porn Video With Other Swingers
This one can be a fun and exciting one. Get together with some of your swinger friends and make a porn video. Besides being just plain fun, you can learn a lot about your partner with this one.
Now for the secret sauce. Each of you take turns being the director of the porn video and camera person. One person can be both the director and camera person if you desire.
You and your partner could also sit down with your swinger friends and write out a porn script first. The wilder the better. Remember, the idea is to add some excitement back into you and your partner’s swinging adventure.
Hold a Swinger Lifestyle Party
Do you enjoy entertaining or just having people over to chill? You could try holding your own swinger party to add some excitement back into your swinger relationship.
You could have a small swinger party with just a few swinger couples you know, or a large party where you invite your swinger friends and have them bring their swinger friends. This is a great way to meet new swinger couples and singles.
If you decide to throw a swinger party, it does not need to be elaborate. You could just put out some snacks and setup or designate a play area. Here is an idea, make it a potluck dinner. Have each couple or single you invite bring a covered dish.
Watch Each Other Having Sex
Maybe the two of you just need to learn new sexual ways to please each other. You could watch your partner having sex with someone else. Take this opportunity to learn what seems to pleasure them immensely. Does the person do something that really excites your partner? Learn what they are doing and try doing the same thing to your partner.
Alternate who watches the other. This is also a good way to add excitement and sexual tension build up when swinging with another couple or group. Watch your partner being sexually pleasured as long as you can. Once you are extremely horny, jump in the action.
Explore Separate Sexual Interests
We are all individuals with different likes and dislikes. Even very happily married couples can have some different interests. This includes having some sexual interests that your partner does not have. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Maybe, the two of you just need to explore your own sexual interests from time to time. This can lead to being much more sexually satisfied in the long run. Of course, this does require both of you to be very open-minded and not be the overly jealous type.
Next time you go to a swingers club or just meet with another swinger couple, why not give separate room sex a try. Swap partners and head to different rooms for sex. This can give your partner a means to explore sex interests that you personally don’t have or enjoy.
Sometimes, just being very sexually satisfied can bring back excitement to your swinger relationship.
Plan a Swinger Lifestyle Sex Weekend
When was the last time the two of you took a vacation? You can add the same excitement you felt then along with lots of sex. Plan a swinger sex weekend mini vacation.
You could go to a swinger resort, or just rent a cabin for the weekend. Invite another swinger couple along on the vacation.
Want an exciting twist on this? Swap partners for the entire weekend. This can add spice to your swinger weekend.
Pickup and Seduce Another Couple or Single at a Bar
Want to really put some excitement in your swinger relationship? Both of you get dressed up to the max and head out on the town. Pretend that the two of you are secret agents and that your assignment is to locate and seduce a couple or single.
Just working together to spot suitable targets can be fun and exciting. Once you have seduced a couple or single, bring them back to your secret headquarters for some sexual fun. Of course, your secret headquarters could be a hotel room if you don’t want to bring them back to your place.
Just have fun with this one. It may surprise you how much excitement it brings back to your swinger relationship.
Speaking of role-playing.
Give Role Playing a Try
Got a fantasy that would be impossible to bring to life? Have a fantasy of being seduced by a stranger? How about being seduced by your personal trainer? Ever had a daydream about being kidnapped by a group of horny girls or guys? Well, then, give role playing a try.
You can keep it simple or go all out and really set the scene with clothing, props, a venue and more. You can role play with just the two of you or invite other swingers to join in the fun and excitement.
Oh, don’t worry about breaking out laughing. That can be part of the fun.
Give Each Other a Conditional Hall Pass With a Twist
Remember the excitement and butterflies you had from first dates and having one-night stands? You could recapture that feeling and bring it back to your swinger lifestyle relationship.
Consider giving each other a conditional hall pass for a night or weekend. I guess I should explain what I mean by conditional hall pass, but first let me state the following.
This method to help add the excitement back into your swinger relationship is not for everyone. You both must be very open-minded and not the overly jealous type. If either of you have a tendency to feel left out, I would pass this method up.
Now, with that said, what do I mean by a conditional hall pass? The condition is that the one using a hall pass must return to their partner after and tell them all about it while having sex with each other. Especially point out anything the other person did that really turned you on or got you off. The key element here is open communication.
You could even do a twist on this one. One of you could go out on the town and play single. If you get lucky and get seduced or you seduce someone, bring the conversation to having a threesome. Then bring them home so your partner can join in the fun. Go ahead and have all the foreplay you want. Just save the actual penetrative sex for when you are all three together later that night.
Try out Hotwifing
Have you ever heard the term hotwife or hotwifing? In a nutshell it’s a lifestyle where the woman plays with other males and sometimes females with the encouragement of her husband.
There are many dynamics to the hotwife lifestyle, from the conventional hotwife to the vixen stag hotwife to the cuckold hotwife. Instead of making this article way too long, I’m going to point you to an article about the hotwife lifestyle.
The hotwife lifestyle could be the answer to bringing back the excitement in your swinger lifestyle relationship. Hotwifing is not for everyone. It takes a very special and very open relationship to make it work. Just check it out and decide if it’s for you or if it’s a hard pass.
Step Outside Your Sexual Comfort Zones
One of the best ways to add excitement back into a swinger relationship is for both of you to step outside your sexual comfort zones. Try new things and take bold moves. Read something that made you horny but scares or intimidates you a bit? Why not take a deep breath and just go for it? Of course, keep things legal.
See a couple you would love to have sex with? Be bold and just walk up to them and say hi. If you see an opportunity, be spontaneous and go for the gold.
Have a sexual curiosity? See a sexual situation that sparks a curiosity? Get turned on from watching a live BDSM scene? Just give it a try. It may end up exciting. You’ll never know if you don’t at least try.
Start a Swinger Sex Bucket List Together
One of the best ways to put the excitement back into and to keep it in your swinger relationship is to start a swinger sex bucket list together. This is a great way to keep the excitement building and building.
It’s also a great way to bring the two of you closer and closer. I would highly recommend doing this idea regardless of whether your sexual swinger relationship has taken an excitement dive or not. It can be just plain fun.
The following article will give you a great start into how to actually make a swinger sex bucket list. Go check it out. You can thank me later.
