Bringing up the topic of swinging with a couple you just met in a bar can be tricky. But if done properly it can be done without freaking out the couple you just met.
Let’s take a look at how to discuss swinging with a couple you met at a bar.
The key to discussing swinging with a couple you just met at a bar is to get normal conversation going. Then, slowly move the conversation topic to something a little sexual in nature. Next, you move the topic to swinging.
Let’s move on and look at an example of how you can discuss swinging with a couple you met at a bar.
How to Discuss Swinging With a Couple You Met at a Bar
Here is an example of how you can bring up the idea of swinging with a couple you just met at a bar without scaring them away. Read through this example and modify it to meet the situation and couple you are talking to.
Always be prepared to bail on the subject of swinging at a moment’s notice. Not everyone is comfortable talking about any form of sex. You can always revisit the subject again after you have gotten to know them better. So, don’t rush things, especially if you feel the couple may make good friends.
When you first meet a couple in a bar that you may be interested in swinging with, you need to get them to warm up to the idea slowly. You need to get them to talk about swinging first.
The goal of this example is to get the couple to actually discuss swinging openly and possibly make the proposition of swinging with you. Or at least get them hinting that they may be interested.
When you meet a couple at a bar, you want to get them to join you for a drink at your table. Talking at a bar usually does not work well. There are too many distractions and very little privacy. Get the couple to join you at a table that is in a quieter area of the bar or nightclub.
Start off just getting to know the couple. Just have a normal conversation with them. Try to get to know what they like to do. You can also talk about the local bar scene and find out if they have other bars or nightclubs in the area that they enjoy going to.
After you have spent some time finding out what mutual interests you have with the couple, you want to move the conversation slowly to a sexual topic. Don’t rush this step. Have a drink or two with the new couple and then once everyone seems to be relaxed and enjoying your company, then start to move the topic to something sexual in nature.
You could do this by doing something simple like pointing out other couples in the bar and talk about how they really look good together. You could even make a little game out of it and start pointing out singles at the bar that you feel would make cute couples.
You want to get the couple you just met playing this game with you. It’s a great way to relax people and get them to open up a little.
At this point you could start pointing out people that are dressed sexy. Ask the couple their opinions about them. Do they look sexy in what they are wearing? Would you change the outfit a little?
This is a good one for the women. Have your female partner start pointing out sexy women and men to the couple’s female partner. Get a little game going. Who can spot the sexiest female and male in the bar.
If the couple seems to be enjoying themselves and laughing a little, you could drop a bold statement and see how the couple reacts.
Here is an example of what I mean by a bold statement. I bet he or she is really good in bed. If you get any reaction from the couple besides shock in a bad way, continue on. If they do seem shocked in a bad way, change the subject.
If all is going well, ask them who do they think looks like they would be good in bed. Hopefully one of them will point someone out. If not, you can start pointing out people and asking them, what about them? The idea is to have fun with this.
Look for something that the female of the couple you are talking with has on that looks sexy. You could also look at her makeup or hair. Do either look sexy? Whatever you find about the female you feel is sexy, compliment her on it. Your female partner should give her the compliment.
After a little more conversation, find something to compliment the male of the couple about. Again, this should be done by your female partner. If it’s a piece of clothing, your male partner can do a follow up and ask him where he got it.
You may have noticed that I am telling you to have your female partner asking the questions or making bold statements the most. It comes across a lot less creepy than when a male does the initial complimenting or making of bold sexual statements.
Now it’s time for a little more regular conversation. Have another drink with them and get ready to ramp things up.
Either partner can ask them what they like to do for excitement. This is a feeler question to see if they possibly mention something sexual. Most likely at this point, they won’t, but it’s a good test.
You can also ask them what crazy things they used to do back in their college days or younger days.
Now, let’s ramp things up. Have your female partner ask them what the wildest and craziest thing is the two of them have ever done. Wait for them to answer and hopefully they will ask you the same question. If not, you can just offer a response.
Now it’s time to let the inner actor out. You want to smile like you are a little apprehensive or embarrassed about what you are about to admit. Again, it’s best if the female partner does this. The male partner can even act a little shocked after she says something like, we occasionally go to a swinger club for excitement. Look like, did I just say that out loud after you let it slip.
Now, just keep quiet and smile. Give them time to digest what you just said. Hopefully they will ask you about it.
If too much silence happens, say something like, we were scared to death the first time we went but actually had a great time once we got over the shock.
The idea is to get them to start asking questions about it. If they don’t, ask them if they have ever thought about going to one just for the excitement of doing something way outside their comfort zone.
You can also interject that you don’t have to cross that off your couple’s bucket list anymore. Again, smile.
If they don’t start asking questions, drop the swinger topic for now and continue with the other sexual topics you have been discussing.
If they acted shocked in a bad way, drop the conversation to everyday topics. If that happens, you pretty much know that you are at a dead end with them as far as swinging goes. But they could still become great vanilla friends. So don’t push it.
If they do start asking questions about swinging, or don’t seem totally shocked in a bad way about it, continue to move the conversation towards discussing swinging in more detail.
You can mention how it was frightening for the two of you at first. And how it ended up giving the two of you great shared experiences.
You can tell them how it actually improved your sexual relationship and sex life. Another thing you can mention is how the two of you are not afraid to talk to each other about what they fantasize about or want to try sexually. Tell them how it helped open communications between the two of you.
If they are responding well or seem curious about swinging, it’s time to take the next step. If the club has a dance floor, ask the couple you are talking with if they mind if the two of you go dance for a minute and that the two of you love the song that is playing.
The idea is to leave the couple alone for just a bit so they can talk together without the two of you being in hearing range.
Once the song is over, return to the table and sit back down and continue going back and forth between sexual and non-sexual topics with them.
After a little bit, your male partner can say something like, my wife wants to dance with you, but she is too afraid to ask you. She should look a little shocked that you said that. Slip in asking the female of the other couple if it would be OK for him to dance with your female partner. If all goes well, he will offer to dance with her.
If that happens, your male partner should ask her if she would like to dance also. Hopefully this step goes well.
Don’t get pushy or let your hands wander while dancing with them. The idea is to get them and the two of you accustomed to being in each other’s private spaces.
At the end of the song, the four of you should return to the table. Don’t forget to thank them for dancing with you and that you enjoyed it.
Start back with chatting about different subjects. Go back and forth between nonsexual topics and sexual topics.
If all is going well with the couple you just met and neither of them are shying away from the sexual conversations, it’s time to get the two women alone, and the two guys alone.
One of the easiest ways to do this is for your female partner to ask her if she would like to go to the lady’s room. Or some other area of the bar or even outside to get some fresh air. Just do whatever is needed to the girls can talk alone and the guys can talk alone for a little while.
The girls and guys should keep the conversations going about swinging. Really push the benefits that you personally have received from the lifestyle.
If all is going well, ask the other person if the idea of swinging intrigues them. Then listen to their response. If it’s just a simple no, drop the subject of swinging and talk about something else.
If it does intrigue them, mention how your partner is a little sexually attracted to them and if they ever consider swinging, the two of you would help them explore swinging a little.
Now it’s time for everyone to get back together at the table. Continue chatting with the couple.
Make sure you and your partner have worked out a signaling system. Signal your partner if you got a good response or a no response. Once the two of you have signaled each other. You can either just keep a vanilla friendship going or take it to the final step.
If both seemed interested, have your female partner invite them home or to the hotel for a nightcap.
Another option is to invite them out for dinner later in the week or to meet them at the same bar or a different one.