What are some alternative places to go on first dates with other couples besides restaurants and bars? We don’t enjoy either.
Just think about what you do with your vanilla friends when you get together. Just keep in mind that you need to do something that will still allow all of you to talk and get to know each other.
Here are several places and activities I can think of that could work as a first date with another swinger couple.
- Go on a picnic at the local park
- Go to a museum that all of you have an interest in
- You could go to an outdoor concert. Just sit near the back so you can still talk
- A few rounds of mini golf could be a fun activity
- Escape rooms could be an exciting first date
- Go to the beach and just hang out. Or go for a walk
- You could go hiking together
- Go on a walk and explore a city
Just remember, the idea is to be able to get to know each other and have fun at the same time. Now that I have you thinking, keep adding ideas to this list.
My husband wants us to become swingers. Apparently, I’m not enough for him. Why would he want to swing? I’m so upset.
I’m kind of hesitant about answering this question. Swinging is a team sport. Since you are upset about his wanting to swing, I would say that neither of you is ready for swinging. I would not venture into it at this time.
Now that I have said that I want to explain just a little about someone that is ready for swinging and entering it under the right mindset. Please note I said the right mindset. Many venture into swinging with the wrong mindset and destroy their current relationship.
Swinging is not about the other person not being enough. Swinging is about adding depth and excitement to your sexual experiences together as a team. It’s about exploring new sexual adventures together.
Swinging is not about not loving your partner enough. It’s about so much more. It’s about how getting more out of your sex life together. It’s about sharing your sexual experiences with each other and living them together as a couple.
One of the single guys we play with as a couple appears to be falling in love with me (the female half). What should we do?
This is a tough one when it happens. What you really need to do is put him back in the friend zone. Stop inviting him to play for a period of time. Even cut down on any other contact you have with him. Make sure he is aware that you have other play friends. This way hopefully he will realize that the feelings he is having are not reciprocated.
You may even have to break off doing even nonsexual things with him for a period of time. You also need to show him in indirect ways how much you and your husband are in love.
You need to let him drift back into the friend zone before playing with him again. Sometimes that happens fairly quickly, while other times it never happens. In cases like the latter, it’s usually best to break all contact with him.
My wife and I want to start swinging but don’t have a clue how to start. Any help?
First, welcome to a wild adventure. Let’s see if I can get you pointed in the right direction. The first thing you should do is check out our online newbie guide. You can find it by clicking the link below.
Next, I would check out our online swinger guide by clicking this link.
Finally, watch Swingers Adventures Magazine for an announcement about our brand-new book coming out soon. It’s named “First Time Swingers: A Couples Guide to the Swinger Lifestyle.” It will be perfect for you.
Since you are reading this, I assume you are already on our newsletter subscriber list. We’ll be announcing the new book in the newsletter as soon as it’s available.
We are holding our first swinger house party. Any recommendations on ice breaker games we can play?
First, congratulations on holding your first house party. I hope it goes well for you and everyone has a great time. Now on to your question. I’m going to point you to several articles on Swingers Adventures Magazine that cover a lot of swinger ice breaker games. I’m sure you’ll find several that will work great for your first party. Here are the articles. Check them all out and let us know how your party went!
8 Swinger Sex Games to Get the Party Going
6 Sexually Exciting Swinger Party Games
7 Fun Adult Swinger Games for Your Next Swinger Party
We want to go to our first swinger party but have no idea what to wear. We would be grateful for any ideas.
I’m going to give you two answers since you did not say if you two were going to a club party or a private home party.
If you are going to a private home party, I would contact the host and ask them how most of their guest’s dress. You could also ask them what they would recommend. Usually, if it’s a pool party the dress is casual or bathing attire. If it’s a party in their home, you could basically dress to impress. Women extremely sexy, guys dress slacks and dress shirts. But check with the host to see how they prefer their guests to dress.
If you are going to a club, take a look at their website and look for their dress code. Most want the women to dress as sexy or as skimpy as they are comfortable with. For guys, most clubs want dress pants, collared shirt, and nice shoes.
We want to join a swinger membership site but are afraid someone we know may see our profile. Any suggestions about what to do?
There is always a chance that someone you know may run across your profile on a swinger site. Here are a few things you can do to minimize the risk of someone that is not a swinger seeing your profile.
Only create profiles on swinger sites that keep all profiles in a members only area.
Cover the faces on profile pictures. This will reduce the responses you get though.
Don’t have anything recognizable in photos. For example, don’t use a picture of the two of you standing in front of your house or car. Don’t have items that could be recognized by friends in any photo. This goes for clothes too.
Use nicknames on profiles instead of your first names.
Just keep in mind, there will always be a possibility of being recognized by others. You can only really minimize the possibility.
We both want to go to a swingers club but don’t know what to do if we run into someone we know from other non swinger places. Should we be worried?
Let me start by saying that you most likely have friends or acquaintances that are in the swinger lifestyle that you are not even aware of.
My wife and I can speak from personal experience on this. There will be a chance that you will run into a neighbor, a coworker, or someone that works at a store you frequent.
We have run into many people we thought where vanilla in swingers clubs. All you can really do is smile and say “Oh, hi.”
It may be a little nerve wracking at first, but they were probably shocked to see you at the swinger club too.
If you do, just respect their privacy and don’t talk swinging in public places or around others with them. Save those conversations for private.
We joined a swinger membership site and getting a lot of messages. But almost all of them seem extremely impatient and only want to meet for sex before we even chat a little. Is this normal?
The sad truth is you will find a lot of desperate people on swingers sites. Most are not really even swingers. They see the swinger membership sites as a place to just select other people to have sex with. The best thing to do if someone starts off the conversation with wanting to immediately meet and have sex is to block them.
You will eventually find real swingers that will be a lot more patient and want to really get to know you a bit before hopping in bed with you.
Now, don’t get me wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with one-night stands and just raw sex. That’s just much better being left for meeting other swingers in person at clubs and parties. Not swinger membership sites.
My wife and I were playing in a group room at a swingers club. A couple was watching us having sex. After a while the woman approached us and asked if we would like them to join us. We both agreed and invited them to join us. The guy immediately started playing with my wife. I moved over and went to play with the other guy’s wife when she stopped me. She told me that only her husband plays, and she does not. So, I stopped the guy that was playing with my wife and told them that they had to leave, and we were no longer interested in playing with them. The guy got very belligerent. I had to grab my wife and leave the playroom area. I did tell the management about what happened, and they did not seem to care. What’s the best way to handle a situation like this?
It sounds like you actually had multiple bad experiences all wrapped into one. The couple basically joined the two of you under false pretenses and actually deceived the two of you. If the female half of the couple does not play, she should have asked if her husband can join you, not can we join you. It also sounds like it could have been a couple where the female was only there to be the meal ticket for the guy. They may have not even been a real couple.
On the other hand, she could have been pushed unwillingly into the swinger lifestyle by her husband, and he was basically controlling her and telling her what to say. If this was the case, the two of you were not the only victims here. She was also.
From what you have written, I feel you did the right thing with you and your wife leaving the play area. You respected her no, while he did not respect your no.
Now, as far as the club management not seeming to care about the safety of their guests, I would find another swinger club to attend. I would not go back to a club where safety is an issue. If, by chance, the club is a chain, I would contact their corporate office and let them know about your experience.
Sorry this happened to the two of you, but thankfully there are a lot more good swingers and swinger clubs than bad ones.
