If you have been exploring the swinger lifestyle at all, I’m sure you have heard the term soft swing being used a lot. If you are not sure of what the term soft swing entails, I’ll try to fill you in on all the details.

Let’s start off by giving the quick answer, and then dive in deep and explore the term soft swing in detail. So, let’s start by giving the short answer to the following question.

What is soft swing sex?

Soft swing sex is a term used in the swinger lifestyle to define sexual acts when swapping sex partners. These sexual acts between swapped partners can include kissing, fondling, foreplay, and oral sex. But it does not include penile-vaginal penetration.

Now that you know the quick and dirty answer to what soft swing sex is, let’s move on and explore all the different types of soft swing sex. Including the variations of sex that the term soft swing refers to in the swinger lifestyle.

What Types of Sex Are Considered Soft Swing Sex in the Swinger Lifestyle?

Soft swing sex is also known as soft swap in the swinger lifestyle. There is no one correct definition of soft swing sex. Of course, this leads to confusion to new swingers as to exactly what it really means.

I’ll start off by giving you examples of soft swing sex and then briefly touch on what hard swing sex is. Will then look at soft swing threesomes and group sex. After that, will quickly explore soft swing rules and limits as well as jealousy that can happen even when only participating in soft swing sex.

When exploring soft swing sex, keep in mind that it can be participated in the same room or in separate rooms when swapping partners for sexual activity.

Examples of Soft Swing Sex

Since soft swing sex can have so many different definitions, depending on who you ask, I’ll give you several examples. So, always keep in mind when using the term soft swing sex or soft swap, your definition may not be the same as the couple you are about to swap partners with.

Example 1: Kissing and heavy sexual petting and stroking while fully clothed.

Example 2: Kissing and heavy sexual petting and stroking inside the upper body clothing. For example, sliding a hand under shirt or blouse to chest, back, or ab area.

Example 3: Kissing and heavy sexual petting and stroking inside the clothing. For example, sliding a hand under shirt or blouse. Or up under a skirt or down the inside of pants.

Example 4: Kissing and heavy sexual petting and stroking inside the clothing while being nude from the waist up. For example, playing with the persons bare chest. And sexually petting and stroking under a skirt or down the inside of pants.

Example 5: Kissing and heavy sexual petting and stroking each other while totally nude.

Example 6: Kissing, heavy sexual petting and stroking, and having oral sex with each other while totally nude.

Example 7: All of the above plus the use of sex toys like vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, etc.

If you noticed, none of the soft swing sex examples include penile-vaginal penetration. I’ll briefly cover that a little next.

Hard Swing Sex (Hard Swap)

If you go beyond the examples I gave of soft swing sex, you may be moving into the realm of hard swing sex. This is also known as hard swap.

The difference between soft swing sex and hard swing sex is that hard swing sex allows penile-vaginal penetration.

Some partner swaps in the swinger lifestyle start out as soft swing sex but progress to hard swing sex with everyone’s permission. If you ever start out with the intention of only having soft swing sex, be very careful about taking it up a notch to hard swing sex. If you do, make sure everyone involved has given very clear consent.

Soft Swing Sex Threesomes and Group Sex

Not all soft swing sex happens between two couples swapping partners in the swinger lifestyle. Many times, swingers enjoy threesomes and group sex that are limited to soft swing sex only.

Soft swing sex threesomes between two women and one man are extremely popular, especially if the two women are bisexual.

Threesomes between two men and one woman are also popular. The woman performs oral sex on the third while her partner has normal penetrative sex with her.

Another popular threesome in the swinger lifestyle is with three women while the men watch.

Group sex is usually reserved for the hard swing sex realm but can be enjoyed with only soft swing sex if all partners are in agreement.

When you meet someone and you have agreed to having soft swing sex only, all of you need to quickly go over your rules and limits. Let’s look at doing that next.

Setting and Discussing Soft Swing Sex Rules and Limits

The best rules are no rules at all. That way, in the heat of the moment, if you accidentally break a rule, you won’t be getting in trouble with your partner. But, since we are talking soft swing sex, limits do need to be agreed upon.

First you and your partner need to agree on what your definition of soft swing sex is and what sexual acts it includes and does not include.

Next, you always need to let anyone you are about to sexually play with know your definition of soft swing sex is and what the two of you allow and don’t allow. You also need to make sure you understand their definition of soft swing sex and limits completely.

Going into a sexual situation with others can be extremely exciting and fun. But it can also cause unexpected jealousy. Let’s talk a little about jealousy next.

Jealousy and Soft Swing Sex

One thing you have to watch out for and be prepared for is jealousy rearing its ugly head. Jealousy is very common with new couples when they first start exploring the swinger lifestyle. Even though they decided to participate in soft swing sex only, jealousy can still happen.

A little jealousy is easy to get past if the two of you communicate what your expectations and concerns are before participating in soft swing sex. Raging jealousy is a completely different story. If that happens, even soft swing sex may not be for the two of you.

The main thing is to be prepared for it and discuss how it should be handled if it happens. Talk out each other’s concerns completely before arranging your first soft swing encounter.

If either of you do feel jealousy, check out the articles about jealousy on this site.

Is Soft Swing Sex for You?

Now that you know a little about soft swing sex, is it for you? Check out our article that helps you to answer the question, is soft swing sex for us?

Find Out More About The Different Types of Swinging

The article you just read is part of a series. You can read the entire series about the different types of swinging by clicking on the following link.

Swinging Types: The Different Types of Swinging